Ronogonagall
by RedHairAndHand-Me-DownRobes
Summary: Truth or dare turns into an unlikely romance.
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co is not ours.

_Hermione: But Neville, know that my heart is yours._

Bellatrix: Ha! Now I shun you!

_Hermione: We both have HP crushes_.

Bellatrix: Shut it. I don't love Severus, okay?!

_Hermione: I was thinking Draco._

Bellatrix: Well, this disclaimer just got awkward.

A/N: It's out of character. Deal with it. After all, it is called fanFICTION.

Ronald Billius Weasley stared happily at his friends, reciting all the good things about his crush. "Well, she's kind, and she's smart, and she would keep me on top of things, and she appreciates Quittedch-"

"Don't you think it's a tad bit impractical to love her?" Hermione interrupted.

"You shouldn't talk! You love Draco, that filthy beast!" Harry quickly came to his friend's defense. Hermione's cheeks got redder than a Weasley's hair.

"McGonnagall is our teacher, Ron!" However, Hermione's words had no effect. But considering what was about to happen, they didn't need to.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello! We know truth or dare is pretty common, but we wanted to try it out. Not the story plot, we promise! R&R, please. No flames!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, nor it's characters, are ours. We merely borrow them without asking and forget to return them.

_Bellatrix: That's okay, I like Snivellus better alive._

Hermione: And this is why you are still shunned.

_Bellatrix:_ *_sniff*_

A group of teachers huddled in Dumbledore's office. Many of them were curious about why they had been summoned.

"Hello", Dumbledore began, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Lemon drop, anyone?" he offered. All the teachers shook their heads in confusion. "I assume you are all wondering why you are here. There's this muggle game called truth or dare." He promptly explained how to play.

"Your point?" Severus questioned, uncertain of where this was going.

"We're playing. What are you, an idiot, Snivellus?" Pomona Sprout replied. Severus glared daggers at her.

"Precisely, Pomona." And so the games began.

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"I'll go first." Dumbledore offered. The gleam in his eye terrified everyone. "Severus. Truth or dare?"

"Dare" Severus responded arrogantly.

I want you to cry in front of your class." Severus's eyes widened in terror. "Furthermore, when questioned on why you are exhibiting such behavior, you must claim that you, and quote me here, 'get stressed when not wearing your favorite pink boxers with unicorns on them'. Then hysterically sob. Please do so in your class that Harry, Hermione, and Ron are in." Albus finished with a smile.

"How did you know?" Severus mumbled. McGonagall erupted in laughter.

"Minerva, since you find my dare so humorous, your turn. Truth or dare?"

Minerva trembled, fearing Severus's wrath. He may be hideous and smell like, well, Severus, but he was smart. "Dare." She eventually answered, wanting to prove her Gryffindor courage.

Severus smirked. "In Transfiguration with the Potter brat, the entire class period, you must repeatedly have the class watch the memory of James and Lily's 'tragic' death." He grins, knowing it is a wonderful dare. However, he internally grimaces, as Lily's death was more painful for him than anyone could have imagined. The glares he received from everybody could have caused Voldemort himself to whimper. "It wasn't exactly rainbows and unicorns for me, either." Severus reminded them, easing a couple of the glares.

"Unicorns? Where? Unicorns mean horns. Horns mean pain. No pain!" Pomona squealed. She promptly jumped into Severus's lap.

Severus wore a face of pure disgust. "You-you. . . you!" No words came to his mind about the atrocity in his lap.

"My, my! I had no idea you had stuttering problems. Rumor has it the Weasley twins have lessons on how to get over that. The lessons are more directed towards first- and second-years, but I'm positive you'd be welcome." Minerva chuckled.

Severus scowled but kept his mouth shut, afraid of being made fun of yet again for a stupid response.

"Alright, I believe it is my turn now. Rubeus, truth or dare?" Minerva asked.

"Hmm. Truth, I think. No sense in bein' humiliated for a game." Rubeus responded, worried that a cruel dare could hurt Buckbeak.

"Good, good. What is the most humiliating moment that has happened to you while teaching?" It was lame, and Minerva knew it. However, Rubeus's response was about to make a lame question worth asking.

A/N: Yay, cliffies! Sorry, guys. We will do our best to update soon.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter or any characters. Just a computer and a bunch of plastic noses.

Rubeus trembled at the memory he was about to share. "Well, ya see, Durmstrang Institute was visiting, an' dat is where Draco's cousin is from. He, uh, was a veterinarian." He began.

"Vegetarian, I believe." Albus corrected.

"Ur, yeah, what you said. Anyhoo, Hogwarts don't have vegetarian stuff, and just the smell of meat did make him real mad. So, Lucius was bringing him some food. And I didn't know, an' I sure was hungry. So when Lucius was dere, I did think that dem food was fer me. Dat sandwich, dat did look real good, it did. So I walked on up, an' I grabbed dat sandwich right out his hand, and I gobbled it up. It didn't taste good. Far too leafy." Rubeus finished with a scowl on his face.

As was typical, Severus smirked while Minerva howled with laughter. Filius struggled to contain his giggles, and Pomona "tsk, tsk"ed. Albus just sat quietly in the back, watching in amusement and enjoying a lemon drop.

"Well, alright, now. Dat'll be all. Filius, truth or dare?" Rubeus asked evilly.

The Charms teacher squirmed in his seat like Ron before his NEWTs. He took a deep breath, trying to summon courage. "Erm, D-dare?"

"Filius, you should go to that class as well!" Minerva exclaimed. Thankfully, Rubeus interrupted before she could lecture about stuttering teachers.

"Well, now, Filius. I do dare ya to stick yer wand in yer pants all day tomorrow! Be makin' up for a little something, eh?" Rubeus's dare-and his comment-caused a wave of laughter amongst the teachers. Filius was frozen in terror, his mouth in a perfect _O_ of surprise.

"And you would know, how exactly?" Severus asked in his usual sarcastic-comment-about-to-happen drawl, arched eyebrows and all.

Everyone ignored him. "Severus, don't stall. You're going to be thoroughly humiliated, no sense in prolonging it." Pomona chirped in. Severus realized with terror that the, the _thing_ was still on him.

"Off. Now." He barked.

"No more unicorns?" Pomona asked nervously. Severus responded by shaking his head.

"Um, I think it's my turn." Filius said. Nobody said otherwise, so he continued. " Pomona. Truth or dare? Oh, and unicorns!"

The panicking Hufflepuff Head of House jumped onto scowling Severus once again. "Dare, but only if there are no unicorns involved!" She shouted.

"Yes, yes, no unicorns. Another being, actually." Filius's tone gave everyone goosebumps. He sounded like a maniac. "So, here's your dare."

A/N: Hi, and thanks for reading. Let us know what you think. If you have any good questions or dares or anything you want a professor to say/do, just tell us!


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: _Yes, Harry Potter is definitely ours. _(note the classic snivellus-style sarcasm)

The lioness of Gryffindor wasn't feeling very brave when morning came. Minerva had slept for as long as Snape spends washing his hair (approximately zero minutes and zero seconds). Her robes were wrinkled and her hair was a mess. Fright only increased when she spotted Ron in the crowd of Gryffindors sloppily eating breakfast. With a croaky voice, she stepped up to the microphone and cleared her throat.

"Umm. Good morning? Yes, good morning Hogwarts. I, um, have something to say. I think." Minerva looked over nervously at Dumbledore who, with a twinkle in his eye, nodded encouragingly. "So I'd like to announce something. Um, um, ummmmm, yeah so, here goes everything. I would like to confess undying love for someone here at this school. Somebody who is kind, smart, funny, and has wonderful hair. I have always loved, and will always love . . . DUMBLEDORE!"

(Just kidding! Fooled you, didn't we? We take after Fred and George) For real:

"I have always loved, and always will love . . . FILCH!"

(ok, ok. One more time? No? Fine.) Actually for real:

"I have always loved, and always will love . . . Ronald Billius Weasley!"

"YES!" Ron screamed. His wish had come true! Minerva's reaction left everybody shocked.

A/N: How do you think the ol' lioness reacted? Please R&R!


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